This is a sponsored post written by me on behalf of e.p.t.. All opinions are 100% mine.

Well, it’s real and I’m officially halfway through my third pregnancy. Get ready for some honest thoughts on my current situation. In my mind, going from two to three kids is going to be the most difficult transition as parents (I’ll let you know how that goes in September and beyond…). There are two parents, we each have two hands, Costco and Target carts hold TWO kids, double-not triple-strollers are common, etc. The kids can currently be evenly distributed in a couple of [very convenient] ways. How are we going to manage a third? Is there room in our hearts for a third? I feel like once you have three, you’re going beyond what’s easy, what’s normal. Joe always asks me why I chose to make a certain thing for dinner or why I chose to do this or that with our home or the kids. I usually respond with “it was easy.” I like easy and I like normal.

To be painfully honest, we weren’t trying for a third just yet, and I was so completely and utterly shocked when I took that first e.p.t. pregnancy test and it came out positive. There was even a tinge of disappointment. Why me? Why not a friend who struggles with infertility? I wanted to be in control, and decide when to have another baby. After last winter’s miscarriage, I really wanted to be in control. That little mark on the pregnancy test indicated that I was, indeed, not in control. Pregnancy is not an easy thing, and although I love having children and being a parent, the 9+ months of pregnancy is not something I want to experience time and time again. My belly stretches further than any belly I’ve ever seen, I feel incredibly sick for months and months, I am fearful of labor and delivery, and the discomfort of a growing belly is unpleasant, at best. I wanted to wait longer between Naomi and a third, if we had another child at all. But, there I was, alone in the bathroom, with a positive test confirming what I already feared, with tears in my eyes. I was filled with so much fear, doubt, and anxiety. I feared what other people would think. And I felt guilty for having all these feelings and emotions.

It’s really incredible how we have nine months to prepare for the idea of having a child. When the e.p.t. pregnancy test first indicates that little positive, you don’t walk out of the bathroom with a baby in your arms. You have time, to mentally, physically, and spiritually prepare, to become at peace with the idea of having another child. To try to wrap your mind around the challenges, to anguish over your inevitable labor and delivery, to adjust your workload and schedule, and to prepare for the changes ahead with your family.

When Joe and I told the girls about the baby, my heart almost exploded. Their excitement and desire to immediately hold the baby just melted us. We sat them down on the couch, showed them my positive e.p.t. pregnancy test, and explained that, a little after Zoe’s birthday this later summer, we’d have a brand new baby. We reminded them that they both started off as teeny tiny babies in mommy’s tummy, and we showed them my rapidly growing belly. They oohed and ahhed and kissed my belly and gave me hugs. Their enthusiasm boosted my confidence and excitement 1000x! I’m so grateful for their zest for life and their fresh, innocent perspective; it’s a blessing and has helped me so much over the past 4 1/2 months! Naomi frequently asks if she can “pep” (pet) the baby. Excuse me while I go cry and prepare to have another bundle of adorableness.

I know that I am incredibly blessed and I am thankful for the opportunity to bring life into this world, to raise children, and to be a parent. I’m thankful for the chance to take my e.p.t. pregnancy test (which is available at Walmart!) at home and share the results with my growing family. And after navigating the first half of this pregnancy, I can honestly say I am looking forward to the challenges that a third child will bring. I’m looking forward to being stretched and relying on a Strength other than my own! No, it won’t be easy, but learning to love and welcome difficult things is a way to grow and mature. I can’t wait to meet you, little one! And I can’t wait to find out if you’re going to be a little boy or a little girl (we find out next week)!

We’re forever indebted to Paula Bartosiewicz for so magically capturing this family moment.

Sponsor note: Although this post was sponsored by e.p.t., all content, words and ideas are my own. Thanks for supporting the partnerships that help keep this blog running!